The Sin of "Being Good"

Most of my adolescent and young adult life I worked hard at avoiding sin or at least covering it up.  Sin created much fear in my life.  Fear of being exposed and people seeing the “bad” in me.  Sin created a great deal of guilt and shame in my life.  What if they know who I really am or what I am really thinking or what I have really done?  The pressure I felt to be this “good girl” caused me to work hard at being good and work even harder at not letting the bad be exposed.

Looking back on my past, God has given me the ability to now see that I had a very distorted definition of sin. I viewed sin as outward behaviors and went a step further to neatly categorize it in a hierarchy system which created greater justification in my life.  After all, I was the “good girl” and never really did anything “too bad.”  I became self righteous in not doing bad things and working hard at the good things (being moral, going to church, using my manners, being polite, helping others, on and on).  This idea of “trying not to sin” and when I do covering it up with the good, religious things eventually became a vicious cycle leading to even greater fear, guilt and shame in my life.

It was not until I began to understand the extent of my depravity and very nature of my sin that my life completely changed.  It was not until the Lord allowed me to hear and to see and to begin to comprehend the fullness of His grace that I experienced freedom from my sin of being good.  It was not until I was able to proclaim that I am dirty and wicked and hopeless within, but despite me I get the sufficient grace of my Lord and Savior.  There is nothing I can do or not do to change this very fact.

My Heavenly Father has been gracious to show me this, but I still struggle with the sin of being good.  I still do “good things” out of pride or desire to be noticed or needed rather than from the overflow of my heart.  However, despite my sin, God’s grace is greater.  I receive much peace in knowing that by grace I have been saved despite the evil and darkness of my heart.  I am overwhelmed by grace.  It is a word that is used daily in my home.  It brings much joy to me to hear my two year old beg for grace when he is about to get a time out or spanking or for my four year old tell me that he wants grace even though he doesn’t deserve it.  May the Lord be gracious to continue to reveal to me of my sin of being good and continue to free me and give me a heart that desires good for His name sake. 

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Below is an excerpt from Paul David Tripp’s book “a Shelter in the time Of Storm”

“Its effect [sin] is so pervasive and so comprehensive that it influences everything we do and everything we say.  It causes us to think, desire, choose, say and do things that are the polar opposite of the way we were created to function…And we don’t love God with our whole hearts.  No, we put creation in His place.  We’d rather have the temporary pleasure of physical things than the eternal satisfaction that can be found only in Him.  Sin causes us to place ourselves at the center of our universe.  Sin causes us to be obsessed with what we feel, what we want, and what we think we need.  

In light of the fact that sin brings all of us to the point that we exhale violence in some from at some time, it’s amazing how much peace and cooperation exist in our relationships.  What’s the explanation for this apparent contradiction?  It can be said in one word: grace.  There’s not a day where you and yours are not protected by the most powerful, protective, and beneficial force in the universe – the grace of God.  

…You see, you only ever begin to really celebrate grace when you begin to understand how deep and pervasive the effects of sin are.  As Jesus said when that woman washes His feet with her hair, ‘The one who has been forgiven much, loves much.’

Take time to consider the ravages of sin on us all, because when you do, you’ll leave with a deeper appreciation of grace than you’ve ever had.  And that appreciation won’t only cause praise to come out of your mouth, but it will also change the way you live.”