Waiting with Open Hands: Our prayer as a foster family

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope;My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. O Isreal, hope in the Lord!'
 For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with Him is plentiful redemption. 
 And He will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.  Psalm 130:5-8

My family and I are two months into this entirely new world of fostering and find ourselves in a season of waiting.  A type of waiting we have never experienced before.  Waiting on the phone call, waiting on court dates, waiting for updates, waiting for the next visitation, waiting to see progress or lack thereof, waiting to see what our future is going to look like months down the road.  In a very short amount of time I have waited in anguish and in fear and in hope and in peace.  I have waited in the flesh and I have waited in the very evident presence of the Holy Spirit.  In moments of weakness, I have waited with my hands closed tightly around this sweet baby girl wanting to tell her everything is ok and she will always be safe but angry that I cannot make that promise.  In moments of God’s grace, I have waited with my hands open before Him crying out “Your will, not mine.”  The Lord is allowing me to find comfort Him, not the circumstances.  Comfort in fact that only He can save and redeem and restore.  Regardless of how our future plays out, the Lord is faithful.  I have been reminded in a study that I am going through, of the faith Abraham had.  He did not know the details or the reasoning why he was called to the unimaginable task of sacrificing his son, but he was obedient and placed his faith in God, not his son.  I am praying for that kind of faith!  Faith that doesn’t desire knowing the details or is caught up in the pain of the current circumstances but rather is sustained by the hope of Christ.  Faith that understands and embraces the fact that we are not called to a life of ease and comfort, but rejoices in the fact that in the testing of our faith steadfastness is produced (James 1).  My desire is that as a family we wait well.  That doesn’t mean there won’t be tears or pain or hurting.  That doesn’t mean there won’t be moments when we are waiting in the flesh, with our hands closed tightly.  But in the end, I pray that we have waited and loved and have cared for the precious baby girl with open hands.